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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8072
Location: United States
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 Posted: 12-Sep-2002 21:05 Post subject: Some random questions.... |
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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does an OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why are Trix only for kids?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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www.210sportsblog.com
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Ares
Clan Jade Falcon
Star Colonel
Joined: 20-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 737
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| Posted: 12-Sep-2002 21:14 Post subject: RE: Some random questions.... |
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All good, I like the disney one especially 
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I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say will undoubtedly incriminate me.
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Hardware
Clan Ghost Bear
Star Colonel
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 605
Location: United States
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| Posted: 12-Sep-2002 21:43 Post subject: RE: Some random questions.... |
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On 2002-09-12 21:05, chihawk wrote:
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
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The guy that liked his buddy's fermented goat's milk so much, but didn't know the secret.
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
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So you will have to go out to a restaurant to get decent toast and thereby keep pumping consumer dollars into the economy.
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Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
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Because the penguins can see in the dark.
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
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Because cracking corn was once a cause celeb.
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
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It can bloody well do what it wants, police cannot stop a hearse in a funeral procession.
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Repairs to the Minnow had no script immunity. You should be asking why the other castaways did not kill and eat Gilligan.
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Why does an OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
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K says she wants to know why they don't warm up the speculums.
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Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
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How come Mickey and Goofy wear pants, but Donald only gets a shirt. Why hasn't he been arrested for indecent exposure?
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What do you call male ballerinas?
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Dancers.
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Why are Trix only for kids?
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Blatant anti-lapinism.
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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The thrill of the hunt. I hear he is collaborating on a book with Ted Nugent.
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Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
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Middle English, from Anglo-Norman brocour, abrocour; akin to Spanish alboroque, ceremonial gift at conclusion of business deal, from Arabic al-barka, the blessing, colloquial variant of al-baraka : al-, the + baraka, blessing, divine favor
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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
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Testical!
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
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Minerals.
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If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
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I guess that would depend on his sexual choice and whether or not it was a "don't ask, don't tell" forest.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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If you mean the PTL network, then yes.
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Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
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No, Disneyland is another one. I'd include Euro Disney, but nobody goes there.
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Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Plaigarism.
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Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
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Nutritively speaking, yes.
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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It's a 50/50 split in my house. I've got one dog that doesn't get mad when you blow in her nose that puts her head out window of the car and one that gets mad (sorta) when you blow in his nose that doesn't put his head out the window.
Ask some silly questions, get some silly answers.
_________________
The more I get to know people the more I like my dog.
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8072
Location: United States
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| Posted: 12-Sep-2002 21:46 Post subject: RE: Some random questions.... |
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I expected nothing less from you. 
_________________
www.210sportsblog.com
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Horhiro
Draconis Combine
Samurai
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1625
Location: United States
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| Posted: 13-Sep-2002 20:00 Post subject: RE: Some random questions.... |
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Hardware's got way too much time on his hands. I thought these were jokes not a quiz. 
_________________
"I have lived my life trying to be a virtuous man. The Dragon admires tenacity, and the code of the samurai upholds it as well." -Minobu Tetsuhara
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