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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5745
Location: United States
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 Posted: 11-Apr-2003 20:07 Post subject: Life has now been explained. |
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On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." the cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.
On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span." The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back
ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed again.
On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years! No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained.
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one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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Jade_Dragon
8th Sword of Light
Sho-sho
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1325
Location: United States
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| Posted: 11-Apr-2003 20:55 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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ROFL
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The JadeDragon
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CO_17thRecon
Kell Hounds
Major
Joined: 10-Sep-2002 00:00
Posts: 1297
Location: United States
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| Posted: 11-Apr-2003 22:44 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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Hehehe. 
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Jarylan Blackwell
"What the...?! Where did you get THAT?!"
"Creative aquisition."
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 12-Apr-2003 07:24 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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So that's what grandpa doing... I thought he was just senile... 
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Gangrene
Federated Suns
Leftenant General
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 939
Location: United States
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| Posted: 12-Apr-2003 11:49 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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Aaagghhh. I tried to extend the first 20 years by staying in college, bu now even that is coming to an end! (sigh)
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Gangrene
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Vampire
Free Worlds League
Lieutenant Colonel
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 912
Location: Spain
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| Posted: 12-Apr-2003 13:38 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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I can find better, less painful ways of killing yourself than staying at college 
(Why I didn't get out of there sooner, I wonder?)
[ This Message was edited by: Vampire on 2003-04-12 13:38 ]
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Memento audare semper
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 15-Apr-2003 15:32 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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DO tell......
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Ares
Clan Jade Falcon
Star Colonel
Joined: 20-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 737
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| Posted: 22-Apr-2003 20:24 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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Go read the anarchist's cookbook. Apply any methods involving shotgun shells, 5.56x45 ammunution, high explosives, or razor wire to self.
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I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say will undoubtedly incriminate me.
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 23-Apr-2003 07:37 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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To painful. We're talking less painful....
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Ares
Clan Jade Falcon
Star Colonel
Joined: 20-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 737
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| Posted: 23-Apr-2003 12:34 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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Turning 21 at Ferris State and going through the ritual of 21 shots of Jose Cuervo and never waking up may fit the bill A really shitty way to go, IMO.
EDIT: Hey guys! New avatar! Sweeeeeeet! *end Cartman*
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Bread always lands butter-side down. Cats always land on their feet. A cat with buttered bread on it's back will hang in the air due to quantum indecision.
[ This Message was edited by: Ares on 2003-04-23 12:36 ]
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I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say will undoubtedly incriminate me.
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Apr-2003 07:50 Post subject: RE: Life has now been explained. |
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You're to hammered to feel shitty.
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
[ This Message was edited by: Sir Henry on 2003-04-24 07:50 ]
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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