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master arminas
Clan Goliath Scorpion
Star Colonel
Joined: 07-Mar-2007 16:14
Posts: 718
Location: United States
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 Posted: 22-Jul-2008 13:25 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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Good morning all. Chapter 1 of Book II, 'Blood and Steel', is now available for your reading pleasure. As usual, let me have your thoughts and advice. I am starting this post so we can keep the comments here without interupting the flow of the story itself.
Ciao
Arminas tar Valantil
Grand Master of the Ebon Rose
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ralgith
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company
"Ralgith's Renegades"
Colonel
Joined: 18-Aug-2003 00:00
Posts: 2021
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Jul-2008 09:50 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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Great as usual. Don't forget to send me the other book's files  ralgith@gmail.com 
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Colonel Ralgith t'Mayasara
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company 'Ralgith's Renegades'
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master arminas
Clan Goliath Scorpion
Star Colonel
Joined: 07-Mar-2007 16:14
Posts: 718
Location: United States
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| Posted: 29-Jul-2008 13:02 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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Changed part of Chap 2. I wasn't real happy with the 'mugging' scene. Hope that this works better.
AtV
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ralgith
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company
"Ralgith's Renegades"
Colonel
Joined: 18-Aug-2003 00:00
Posts: 2021
Location: United States
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| Posted: 29-Jul-2008 14:15 Post subject: Re: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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| master arminas wrote: | Changed part of Chap 2. I wasn't real happy with the 'mugging' scene. Hope that this works better.
AtV |
It still seems a little... I don't know... cliche maybe? I'd rather her just steal clothes from a clothesline and then pick someone's pocket without their knowledge... preferably an Amaris trooper's.
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Colonel Ralgith t'Mayasara
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company 'Ralgith's Renegades'
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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5788
Location: United States
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| Posted: 08-Aug-2008 00:18 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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The last installment reminds me of the military regimes in Argentina till 1982 and 'The Disappeared.' A sad event in history like many other times where a regime such as Amaris's silences the unwanted.
I await more.
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one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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ralgith
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company
"Ralgith's Renegades"
Colonel
Joined: 18-Aug-2003 00:00
Posts: 2021
Location: United States
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| Posted: 18-Sep-2008 22:18 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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War is hell. And Amaris pissed off the devil 
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Colonel Ralgith t'Mayasara
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company 'Ralgith's Renegades'
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master arminas
Clan Goliath Scorpion
Star Colonel
Joined: 07-Mar-2007 16:14
Posts: 718
Location: United States
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| Posted: 29-Sep-2008 14:15 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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A word of warning, the most recent chapter--dealing with the events of Pavel's (Clement's) past--may nudge right up against the line. I hope that it doesn't disturb you too much, but I felt a need to explain WHY he feels such shame and anger at his past, and why he lost his faith and his collar.
Though I will not expand upon it, it was these events that led him to the Rim, and to the service with Amaris. Despite the dark passage of that chapter, I feel that it provides information you--the reader--should know in order to understand why he is doing what he is.
I only hope that it works. And that you all continue to enjoy the story-line as a whole.
Arminas tar Valantil
Grand Master of the Ebon Rose
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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
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Location: United States
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| Posted: 02-Dec-2008 11:58 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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i'm still reading. just have had nothing to say.
_________________
one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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ralgith
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company
"Ralgith's Renegades"
Colonel
Joined: 18-Aug-2003 00:00
Posts: 2021
Location: United States
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| Posted: 08-Jan-2009 14:44 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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I loved the last few chapters. Especially since that's the kind of bureaucratic horse manure that could get the First Lord killed. And also that just so happens to occur in EVERY military.
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Colonel Ralgith t'Mayasara
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company 'Ralgith's Renegades'
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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5788
Location: United States
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| Posted: 08-Jan-2009 22:28 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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I enjoyed the Dracs responses. Priceless.
_________________
one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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master arminas
Clan Goliath Scorpion
Star Colonel
Joined: 07-Mar-2007 16:14
Posts: 718
Location: United States
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| Posted: 25-Mar-2009 08:46 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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Here it is, Vagabond.
AtV, GMotER
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ralgith
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company
"Ralgith's Renegades"
Colonel
Joined: 18-Aug-2003 00:00
Posts: 2021
Location: United States
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| Posted: 17-Apr-2009 16:13 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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Keep 'em coming mate. I'm still enjoying them and I drool in anticipation waiting for the next post.
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Colonel Ralgith t'Mayasara
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company 'Ralgith's Renegades'
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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5788
Location: United States
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| Posted: 17-Apr-2009 19:27 Post subject: Re: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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| ralgith wrote: | | Keep 'em coming mate. I'm still enjoying them and I drool in anticipation waiting for the next post. |
Ya, what he said.
_________________
one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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ralgith
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company
"Ralgith's Renegades"
Colonel
Joined: 18-Aug-2003 00:00
Posts: 2021
Location: United States
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| Posted: 30-Apr-2009 10:20 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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Tense naval battle commencing... I'm on the edge of my seat now. Hurry up with the next installment! LOL! This looks like it'll be a good one.
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Colonel Ralgith t'Mayasara
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company 'Ralgith's Renegades'
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ralgith
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company
"Ralgith's Renegades"
Colonel
Joined: 18-Aug-2003 00:00
Posts: 2021
Location: United States
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| Posted: 05-May-2009 22:12 Post subject: Comments on Blood and Steel |
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I've gotta ask, since your writing style seems very similar, have you ever read any of the novels in the Honorverse? You write very much like that particular author (and I cannot at this moment remember his name!), especially your battle scenes.
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Colonel Ralgith t'Mayasara
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company 'Ralgith's Renegades'
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