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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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 Posted: 03-Jun-2002 17:36 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.
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Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything.
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Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a while...it isn't so hot.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
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If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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The other night I ate at a real nice family
restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
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You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a
bunch of liars.
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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
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I'm not 30-something. I'm $29.95, plus shipping and handling.
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In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a
month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I
wish you'd come to me sooner."
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www.210sportsblog.com
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ICER
Clan Hell's Horses
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1663
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Jun-2002 17:48 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Thanks. I needed that.
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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5793
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Jun-2002 19:11 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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i'm telling trish......
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one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Jun-2002 19:13 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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She's the one that sent it to me 
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blabMOXkd
Free Worlds League
Private, First Class
Joined: 24-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 27
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Jun-2002 21:16 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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Well now... If that isn't random, then i don't know what is...
BTW, anyone like raspberries?
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He who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Jun-2002 21:20 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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No, I use 10w40.
(That random enough? )
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blabMOXkd
Free Worlds League
Private, First Class
Joined: 24-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 27
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Jun-2002 21:31 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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Not really....
What do u call Britney Spears getting screwed in all 3 holes at the same time??
Her next single.
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He who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Jun-2002 21:42 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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I prefer Apple flavored Fastener Adhesive...(LocTite)
Sir Henry
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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| Posted: 04-Jun-2002 06:19 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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Quote:
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On 2002-06-03 21:31, blabMOXkd wrote:
Not really....
What do u call Britney Spears getting screwed in all 3 holes at the same time??
Her next single.
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Besides being tastless I must have missed the humor there....
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Horhiro
Draconis Combine
Samurai
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1625
Location: United States
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| Posted: 04-Jun-2002 20:47 Post subject: Some random stuff |
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This is too funny! after reading it I just checked my email and a very similar list was just forwarded to me. how bizzare.
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"I have lived my life trying to be a virtuous man. The Dragon admires tenacity, and the code of the samurai upholds it as well." -Minobu Tetsuhara
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