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Hardware
Clan Ghost Bear
Star Colonel
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 605
Location: United States
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 Posted: 31-Jan-2003 05:01 Post subject: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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The Difference Between the Liberal, Conservative and Texan "Debate" Over the War on Terrorism:
Question: You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 cal. and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
LIBERAL ANSWER:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion. Maybe better yet, I can take a poll of the American public (of course in the liberal northeast part of the country) and see what they would do.
CONSERVATIVE ANSWER:
BANG!
TEXAN'S ANSWER:
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!
BANG! click...(sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed). BANG!BANG!BANG!
Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!"
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The more I get to know people the more I like my dog.
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Karagin
Imperial Karagin Army
Imperial General
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4120
Location: United States
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| Posted: 31-Jan-2003 10:02 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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ROTFLMAO!
Let me amend that Texan Answer a bit
Thug walks up.
Daddy: BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG (.40)
Wife: BangBangBangBangBangBangBangBang (9mm)
Daughter: bangbangbangbangbangbangbang (.380 )
Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!" bang
Father: "Thanks sweetie, you too." BANG
Wife: (looking at corpse) "hmmm that reminds me, do we have enough ground chuck for chili tonight?" Bang
hehe.
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Karagin
Only the dead have seen the end of war. - Plato
[ This Message was edited by: Karagin on 2003-01-31 11:05 ]
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Karagin
Only the dead have seen the end of war. - Plato
"Wasted trip Man. Nobody said nuthin' about lockin' horns with no tigers." Oddball
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Raven!
Clan Snow Raven
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1326
Location: United States
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| Posted: 31-Jan-2003 10:14 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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Actually I think, as a Liberal, I will answer this question.
LIBERAL:
BANG-NG-NG-NG-NG-NG click click click
"Now that I and my family are safe, and we have provided a good example of why their must be law and order (or i'll just hunt down everyone and shoot them to make my own law and order), we will be happy that their will be police and coroners and other government officials to come and help clean up this mess, rather then letting it fester on the ground causing plague that will sweep through the poorly funded schools who can't pay for basic cleaning supplies becuase obviously thats just to much money for public funding, which will cause all of our kids to die, and which means my daughter will eventually contract the plague and die too.
But hey. We want to save taxes right?"
Raven, who thinks a conservative is to short sighted and self centered to realize that in a state of Nature, which is what they want, Raven would eventually rule them all with an iron fist and make them worship him like the God he is! (so next time you want to complain, think of the alternatives first!)
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Jade_Dragon
8th Sword of Light
Sho-sho
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1329
Location: United States
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| Posted: 31-Jan-2003 10:23 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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I like the little Texan girl.....
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The JadeDragon
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Gangrene
Federated Suns
Leftenant General
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 939
Location: United States
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| Posted: 31-Jan-2003 19:30 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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lol
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Gangrene
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Horhiro
Draconis Combine
Samurai
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1625
Location: United States
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| Posted: 31-Jan-2003 20:17 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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Mordellian answer: you drop the glock and whip out your portable SRM launcher strapped to your back. Aim, fire, total disintagration.
little girl "aw dad, did you have to go and fry his wallet?"
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"I have lived my life trying to be a virtuous man. The Dragon admires tenacity, and the code of the samurai upholds it as well." -Minobu Tetsuhara
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Talen
Capellan Confederation
Sang-shao
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1269
Location: United States
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| Posted: 31-Jan-2003 20:28 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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Serious Anime Response:
The man casts a long shadow, raching the family now cowering. The gun comes foward, but is wobbly as the man holding it is an average mane...and not who the show is about. The man gets closer and close...but a white flash interupts his process...and a sharp metal "ping" is heard. The guy holding the gun stares at a mysterious person that has just jumped from the 5th floor...the gun then collapses.
"Leave" says the new arrival...and "attacker" runs...
Funny Anime Response:
The entire family starts crying, except the guy with the gun, who instead holds it wobbly at the knife man and starts screaming. The atacker gets a huge sweatdrop on his head, and then some small fuzzy creatures attack the knife man...smothering him with cuteness.
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"Historians exercise great power and some of them know it. They recreate the past, changing it to fit their own interpretations. Thus, they change the future as well." - Leto II
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Talen
Capellan Confederation
Sang-shao
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1269
Location: United States
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| Posted: 31-Jan-2003 20:30 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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John Woo Response:
The kinfe man reaches for a pair of 9mm, and the gun man reaches for an identical hand gun to match his first. The family starts to run as the two fire like crazy.
Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang (30 minutes later still firing with no clip changes).
Finally they end up at arms reach and out of ammo. The gun man is pissed that his entire family was killed in the proces...and the kife man is pissed cause he met his euqal. Scene ends in both of them drinking a beer...
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"Historians exercise great power and some of them know it. They recreate the past, changing it to fit their own interpretations. Thus, they change the future as well." - Leto II
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Kyu Kage
ComStar
Captain
Joined: 16-Sep-2002 00:00
Posts: 503
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| Posted: 01-Feb-2003 06:26 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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You forgot to mention the amazing special effects that have now been incorporated in to evrey fight scene since *THAT* movie... 
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Loyalty above all else except honour!
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Alexander
Heavy Horse Merc Brigade
Commanding Officer
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 828
Location: Canada
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| Posted: 01-Feb-2003 21:05 Post subject: RE: Liberal, Conservative and Texan |
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Canadian Answer:
"Stop, or I'll pull my weapon."
Man begins to stab furiously.
"Stop or I'll say stop again... Oh, did I bleed on your pants? I'm sorry!"
Alexander
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War is God's way of teaching geography.
*******
Commanding Officer, North West Armoured Cavalry
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