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Vampire
Free Worlds League
Lieutenant Colonel
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 915
Location: Spain
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 Posted: 25-Feb-2004 12:37 Post subject: Gaming quotes |
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I found this little gem and thought it was funny, so here it is
Call of Cthulhu game, the characters are 2 policemen
GM: When you enter, you see in the train platform a corpse horribly mutilated, what do you do?
Policeman #1: I push over the body on the train tracks, and in the report I write "Accident"
same game, the two cops after finding the hole where a vagabond that had attacked them lived
Policeman#2: Ok, I go back to the car, retrieve some guns and leave them at the hole, and write in the report "Terrorists arm cache found"
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Memento audare semper
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Oafman
Draconis Combine
Tai-sho
Joined: 18-Nov-2003 00:00
Posts: 1657
Location: United States
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| Posted: 25-Feb-2004 13:51 Post subject: RE: Gaming quotes |
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That reminds me of some of the gaming sessions I have been in. When in doubt, let someone else deal with it. 
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Festina Lente!
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AWAD
Draconis Combine
Chu-sa
Joined: 06-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 766
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| Posted: 25-Feb-2004 20:36 Post subject: RE: Gaming quotes |
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Smart players, ought to give them bonus to their sanity rolls. They are doomed to be gibbering idoits in that game anyway.
AWAD- Who is in a D20 Modern sort of Cuthulu/X files/24 tyoe game
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Oafman
Draconis Combine
Tai-sho
Joined: 18-Nov-2003 00:00
Posts: 1657
Location: United States
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| Posted: 26-Feb-2004 13:23 Post subject: RE: Gaming quotes |
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The closest thing to that I was in was a Chill game. That is kind of a weird system. At one point there were ghost rubber chickens floating around. 
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Vampire
Free Worlds League
Lieutenant Colonel
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 915
Location: Spain
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| Posted: 26-Feb-2004 15:40 Post subject: RE: Gaming quotes |
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Quote:
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At one point there were ghost rubber chickens floating around.
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Was it after the 4th or 5th drink? 
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DarkAdder
Clan Star Adder
Star Commander
Joined: 10-Jan-2004 00:00
Posts: 604
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| Posted: 27-Feb-2004 12:08 Post subject: RE: Gaming quotes |
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Chill is fun that way. Hey, its a game where the Mean Old Neighbor Lady really exists.
Lets not forget the famous quote,
"Im glad thats over, Im taking off my armor."
or
"If the merchant doesnt like it, Ill just run him through. Ill kill his guards too."
and the ever famous
"Cut the red wire, then the blue one......No Wait!!!"
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Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
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Oafman
Draconis Combine
Tai-sho
Joined: 18-Nov-2003 00:00
Posts: 1657
Location: United States
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| Posted: 27-Feb-2004 13:11 Post subject: RE: Gaming quotes |
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definately some weird moments.
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Rogue Penetrator
Federated Suns
Sergeant
Joined: 12-May-2005 00:00
Posts: 84
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| Posted: 23-Aug-2007 17:09 Post subject: Re: Gaming quotes |
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| Vampire wrote: |
same game, the two cops after finding the hole where a vagabond that had attacked them lived
Policeman#2: Ok, I go back to the car, retrieve some guns and leave them at the hole, and write in the report "Terrorists arm cache found" |
What's worse is that I could actually ses a reasonable chance of this happening or having happened in real life.
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"All it takes for evil to prevail is for good to do nothing."
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Rudel Gurken
Allisters Light Thunder
Major
Joined: 15-Jun-2005 00:00
Posts: 1466
Location: Germany
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| Posted: 24-Aug-2007 10:19 Post subject: |
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Three and a half years!! Thats definitely necromancy!!! 
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Reality is where the Pizza-man comes from!'Gucken, petzen, verpissen!' (Look at it, squeal it, get the hell away from it!) – Motto of the recon troops'Artillery doesn´t know friend or foe! They only know worthwhile targets!‘ – Kuritan Infantrist
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Vampire
Free Worlds League
Lieutenant Colonel
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 915
Location: Spain
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| Posted: 03-Sep-2007 17:43 Post subject: |
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Aaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!! It's the undead thread! It has come back from the grave to haunt us! 
I suppose is my fault being a vampire and all that 
You know, I just popped in because a friend, jymset, dragged me back to this den and I am really surprised to find replies to this post!!!
What it makes eerie is that for the past 2 weeks I've been hooked reading a blog wich is a zombie apocalypse survival horrol story
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Rudel Gurken
Allisters Light Thunder
Major
Joined: 15-Jun-2005 00:00
Posts: 1466
Location: Germany
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| Posted: 04-Sep-2007 03:14 Post subject: |
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We have finally begun to write all the funny RPG quotes down but most cannot be translated into English while staying to be funny!
Maybe i'll try one:
Sharina della Cerastelli (A social con-woman, sorry; don't know a better word) and Costantin Horathio ya Brigonetti di Cordalia (A lower nobel adventurer) observe a man whom they expect to be a mage:
Sharina : I try to spot if he carries an guild-magician-signet in his palm! What do i have to roll for? "Senses"?
Costantin : Or for "sharp weapons"! Then you can look at his hand with ease!
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Reality is where the Pizza-man comes from!'Gucken, petzen, verpissen!' (Look at it, squeal it, get the hell away from it!) – Motto of the recon troops'Artillery doesn´t know friend or foe! They only know worthwhile targets!‘ – Kuritan Infantrist
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Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
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| Posted: 04-Sep-2007 05:23 Post subject: |
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After the party passed through the city of sin.
DM: Paladin (part of a mission, sometimes I would also like to play a paladin of the beauty goddess as well) feel some itching...
Paladin: Disease Immunity!
DM: 
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 11-Oct-2007 09:01 Post subject: Gaming quotes |
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Our Mantra was:
Grab Gnome..
Open door...
Throw Gnome in...
Close Door...
Wait for screaming to stop...
The easy way to cure a thief's passion to be the first in the door.... 
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
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| Posted: 11-Oct-2007 14:32 Post subject: Gaming quotes |
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Well I can't say that this is nice, but at least you didn't use him as battering ram Kroll (something like half-ogre) party did
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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5788
Location: United States
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| Posted: 11-Oct-2007 14:33 Post subject: Gaming quotes |
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This setup takes some explaining as its a joke hinged on another char my friend played in another DnD game in which he was a spellcaster (mage or cleric, can't remember) and the group kept asking if he had X spell.... his response was: "I'm not that kind of spellcaster."
Well, in a game being GM'd by that same person I was playing a Nezumi (Oriental Adventure's Rat Race) Scout (Complete Adventures) that could walk 60ft in a move action and could roll listen and spot as free actions every turn. He was the uber scout... he could move silent as fast as the others walked and if his listen or spot failed i could make a Scent check to smell things.
Well, in one game we encountered a hidden door that was locked. the players ask my character to check out the door he had just found to see if i can unlock it.
This when I describe my character sitting down in front of the door and looking it over. He observes it carefully for about 5 minutes and then in bad common (his native language is the common in the oriental lands and only recently learned the other players common) he looks at them and says:
"It's locked!"
The GM bust up laughing as everyone was confused. So i explained, I'm not that type of scout. lol. I had many skills but disable device and pick lock where not among them.
The sad thing is that they repeated this same mistake a few games latter.
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one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
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